Hie. My name is lil' Tatty. I'm a very little bear. Dat is why I'm called the lil' Tatty.
Sometimes I like to complain and talk about stuffs which I felt dat particular day.
But most of the time, I am a happy bear and I like to stay happy! Hehehe..
Thanks to my master, I am able to come to Scotland and see the world a lil'. This is to open my small eyes and small mind. =)
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Plain White T's: 1234
Sunday, October 11, 2009 The many blessings.
"Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it." - Malachi 3:10
The Lord has indeed blessed me in every way to show that He really loves me. Even though I haven't been a good child and I thought the Lord God would not want a naughty child like me, but the Lord still shows favour upon me! :D I'm really thankful to God for all the good things that has happened in my life even though sometimes things doesnt seem to be going well, but by the grace of God I managed to pull through. I believe that God will continue to see me through the tough and challenging days ahead of me and continue to grant me strength each day to face a brand new day every morning. I'm so indebted I've got no words to describe it... Indeed, You are an awesome God!!! :DDDDDDDD
You are awesome in this place, Mighty God, You are awesome in this place, Abba Father, You are worthy of all praise, To You our lives we raise You are awesome in this place, Mighty God!
On another unrelated note, I think I'm getting alot fatter these days. When is Clark Hatch Permas going to reopen again?! Kinda geram with them. Taking so long for renovations.. I demand a full refund!
Finally I have the time to really sit down and ponder on stuffs that has happened so far in my life. This is the so called 'alone time with myself'. I think it's true to have an alone time everyday even though its a short one to think about the stuffs that has happened within the day. Well, sometimes I dont have the luxury to do that. Hmm.. anyways, as we move along in life.. have you ever wondered the people in your life is getting lesser? In high skool, you'll have this group of friends.. then you move on to college and university life the group of friends you have is also huge. But as you start and embark on the working world, I find that the people who actually stays in your life are getting lesser. Everyone has their own life to lead.. everyone has their own destination and everyone is at a different place. The times we used to share can only become memories at the back of our heads. This is because we're all moving forward. Although we wish we could remain in those happy times forever, we couldn't. Time wouldnt allow us and also the phase of life that we're going through wont allow us either. Eventually, those happy times will become memories that we could never be able to turn back the hands of time to go back to those times again.
At times I wonder for myself, if I had the courage to really move on in life. I think right now I'm just stuck.. stuck in the past in the present time. I'm afraid to move on in life. I dont have the courage to face the uncertainties in life. You would have to walk your own journey in life no matter how many people are around you. The people around you can only help you and cheer you on your journey.. but at the end of it, you would still need to walk the path of your life's journey.
Have I really found what I really want to do? Where I wanna be? And how my life should be led? Hmm.. I dont think so. In other words, I'm still searching..
There are times when I feel I need to have new perspectives in life. Right now, I feel like a crap. Probably this is what they call it the quarter life crisis? I'm just doing the things I'm doing everyday to keep myself busy but the problem is, I'm trying to run away from reality. I'm deceiving myself. I do all the things to keep me busy so that it could stop me from thinking what I really need or want. I'm confused.
Sigh, I just don't know what I want anymore, really. Probably is the way I look that leads people into myths and misconceptions about me. But the fact is, I'm nothing. I have nothing. And I'm not as big as people churn me out to be. I just want to be accepted me to be me. To find a special belonging somewhere. Right now, I dont have any. I feel tired running around in circles. I'm chasing my own tail.
Is there a happy ending to everything? I wish there was...
This week has been an extremely busy week for me. Most of the nights I was outside with the kakis. One of my kakis will be going to terengganu soon. Sobs. Kinda sad. Anyways, I had a retail therapy session with feli yesterday. Oh gosh. I dont know when was the last time I went shopping. It was like donkey years ago. Hahahah. Okay okay, I know I'm exeggerating. But seriously, I think I didnt go shopping for quite a while ade. So this time the sales are on.. we were thinking.. why not? And we went and I bought quite some bit. Lol. I bought 1 dress, 1 dress-like, 3 tops and a cardigan. :DDDD Everything was quite worth a buy. Hahahaha. Alright lah.. enough of my nonsense...
Today I was story telling to the sunday skool kids. Hmmm.. I'm not sure if I've caught their attention. But all i know was.. kids, they really need loads of visuals and movements. If not, it's really tough to grab whole of their attention. Sometimes I wonder, am I like one of them? Cos I can hardly stay focus and put my whole attention on something for long. I tend to stray.. by either dreaming, my number one killer attention.. or not paying attention or listening because I'm dreaming. Hahaha. The main point is.. I'm always dreaming. Any remedy for that? Hahahaha. So i'm like one of those kids.. which need loads of visuals and movements to grab whole of my attention. LOL. Alright, digressing there. Hahahaa.
I think dat's about it for now la. Yah. I watched transformers 2 ade. It's quite nice. I liked the show but I think Transformers 1 was better. But the girl in the movie was hot. Lol. What's her name again? Megan fox ar? Yah.. her lah. If I was half as hot as her. HAHAHAHA. Sam as usual.. Okay nia. Hahaha. And I like bumblebee. Dat's all. :D Go watch it lah if you guys have the chance. Cos the queue is really loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong. Okies. Ciaoz.
Hahaha. I'm sorry dat this blog died once again for a very long time. Not sure if I have the time and the energy to keep this blog alive. Today I just felt like leaving some notes on my blog. LOL. So random. Hahahaha.
Anyways, I've been pretty busy lah. I know you guys will ask what am I busy with and blablabla. I wish I knew. Lol. The thing is I dont know where those hours went to. I felt like 24 hours a day isnt enough for me. I'm sure you feel the same way too. Heh. Weekdays I'll be busy working from 8am til 5pm. And by the time I got home it's nearly 6pm. Then I would have to go to the gym and by the time I got home is about 7.30pm. I'll have dinner with my family at around 7.45pm til 8.30pm... And then watch abit of tv.. and it's 9pm or 9.30pm.. then have to bathe somemore.. takes about one hour to dry my hair.. it'll be like 10.30pm already.. and before I knew it it's time for bed... Online for a while to check stuffs on FB or MSN.. 11.30pm is time to sleep. Dat's basically my agenda for normal days. There are days which I'll go out and skip the gym sessions.. ya know and blablabla.. till 12am only come home.. in the end I havent gotten enough sleep and end up zombified the next day at work. Lols. Weekends are mostly filled with either work again (man I hate work during weekends) and church activities.. Why cant we get more hours a day? I just wonder. Lol. I want more hours so dat I can sleep more.. HAHAHAH.
Transformers movie is out and I think movie tickets are all sold out for now. Dang it! And Jacey's gonna go terengganu to further her studies.. Sob sob. We'll definitely miss her when she's not around. Why oh why must she go dat far? Hahahha... Of all places somemore.
